Under The Influence? Don't Be...

Hey there internet…it’s me, BP.  Can we chat for a second?

Look, I get that you absolutely have some cool advantages, and you have somehow managed to invade everyone’s homes, minds, cars and phones 24/7. 

As a matter of fact, I love that it’s never been easier for me to order stuff I never knew I needed! Why just the other day I was talking to a friend about how this other person ended up being a total douchenozzle and then BAM…minutes later there was an ad for the Douchenozzle 9000 XL that was available, but only in limited quantity, so I’d better go buy it now.

BUT…that’s not why I wanted to talk to you.  I wanted to talk with you about the inappropriate relationship you have with soon to be married women, and how that’s affecting how us photographers shoot those weddings.

See, you have all these fancy websites…and those sites are chock full of other people’s weddings, and that’s cool when you’re looking for inspiration for decorations, or venues, entertainment, etc.

What’s not cool are all these photos of these dream weddings that people are finding on one particular site in general. See, when you post all of these amazing photos…my brides see them and then want me to recreate those shots for them.

I’m going to say that again slower.  My brides….want me to recreate someone else’s wedding photos…at their own wedding.

They want me to recreate a dreamy scene by the ocean, except we’re not shooting anywhere NEAR an ocean, much less one on the coast of California where the sun goes DOWN over the ocean, as opposed to here in Philadelphia where it comes up.

They want me to recreate this amazingly intricate scene that was SO photoshopped, that I am shocked it even gave an option to export as a .jpeg – it wasn’t even close to being a photo anymore.

Most recently, I had a bride that wanted me to recreate the exact ANGLE, LIGHTING, HAIR & MAKEUP for a shot.  Here’s the kicker…it was a screen grab from a movie.

Now look internet, I don’t want you to think this is all your fault.  It’s not.  In the era of Kardashian lifestyles and Instagram “Influencers” – it’s just as much our client’s fault, but you’re not helping.

First and foremost, I’m a photojournalist. We’ve been so busy trying to recreate a vision of someone else’s wedding at their OWN wedding…I’m not even sure we got anything that was unique to what should have been their own special day.

More times than not anymore, the first dances are SO choreographed in an attempt to be perfect, that we’re missing those intimate moments where the bride & groom’s eyes lock, the love explodes between them, and the entire room sees it firsthand.  Now we’re just getting these awkward first dances where they’re too busy counting off the steps that they hardly look at each other at all.


That seems to be extending now to the dances between bride/groom, bride/bride, groom/groom (you get the point), and their respective parental units. 

Once upon a time you would have a crying father or mother dancing with their child…looks of admiration and pure happiness replaced with dance routines from someone else’s wedding found on a video on YouTube titled “BRIDE KILLS WITH THIS EPIC DANCE ROUTINE WITH FATHER”.


What wasn’t noticed or perhaps ignored was that in the description section, it stated that both Father & Daughter were ballroom dancers and had years and years of experience between them.


People are trying so hard to recreate other people’s weddings that we’re missing all those special moments at their OWN wedding. 

Those moments that are unique to them.  Those moments that NO ONE ELSE can recreate, because they are fleeting moments.  We’re hired to find those moments.  To seek them out.  To wait for them in the shadows of the ballroom and make them a part of that family history.

Look internet, I get it. You have all kinds of shiny and amazing things.  You also have lots of dark corners that should probably not be discussed.  You know what I’m talking about.

I’m going to beg of you, and anyone else that’s reading this.  Can we try and be unique?  Can we try and stop being other people for a day? Can we go back to being the wonderful, amazing, unique people we are and stop trying to recreate a day meant strictly for someone else?

Now I’m speaking to you…the brides. Can we all agree that this day is YOURS? You’ve hired us, or another photography studio because you liked the story we told of someone else’s big day. 

Guess what, I NEVER put recreated photos up on our website.  Everything that’s posted are actual, genuine moments that tell the story of that particular day.

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I’m not saying don’t look at the internet for inspiration on hair, makeup, décor, etc. But there are so many things that go into making some of these images you share with us.  Be it a gorgeous sunset on a beach or a multi-million-dollar film that had at least 90 people making these two people look good with lighting and most likely a greenscreen on a soundstage.

You are amazing just as you are.  It’s ok to look for inspiration, but don’t be someone else on your big day.  Be yourself.

Oh look, the internet just told me there’s a BIG sale on “Inspiration: The Cologne” – but there’s only a few bottles left.  GOTTA GO!